Monday, May 26, 2008
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Back Again
Hi All,
Things have been dormant for quite sometime and I kept wondering how to continue from here. Again this is life and we move ahead. Recently I visited Assam and had to go shopping which included Chicken and Beef. I had to run away from the place when I saw what was written there "SICK KABAB SOLD HERE" and the next shop read something like " HOLE SALE CHICKEN SOLD HERE". Now how funny was that. I am not sure.
Life take us to many places and we many at times end of thinking that somewhere many things are wrong and we cannot fix all those. I felt that I could never succeed at the things I tried, so I tried to fail, figuring that this was certainly something I could succeed at. Then, when I succeeded at failing, I wasn't sure which I had done. If you were the most honest and the most modest man in the world, and someone asked you who the most modest man in the world is, would you have to give up one of your titles in order to answer? I had to write my own self help book, because reading someone else's seemed to defeat the purpose. How can someone write your self help book. If yes, please buy the one I have written. I saw a crematorium the other day that advertised discounts for burn victims ( May be they will end up using less wood and oil). Ha Ha..I hate typing, so I just wrote the book in my head. I'm going to market it to mind readers.
I was thinking that it's time to just deal with reality directly, so I tried to imagine a world with no hypothetical situations. 47% of the ststistics are made on the spot. Sometimes a fact or two can spoil a perfectly good argument. So please do not analyse what you are reading. Does it bother you that every brain surgeon has to have a first operation?
Do you think phonetic should be spelled the way it sounds?Sitting at my computer today, I realized that only drug dealers and software developers call their clients "users."I've been trying to find another word for synonym."Con" is the opposite of "pro," so "congress" must be the opposite of "progress."Are dreams about comedians just funny thoughts? (Had to get that keyword in there one more time).
Cheers and Keep Winning,
Sam
Things have been dormant for quite sometime and I kept wondering how to continue from here. Again this is life and we move ahead. Recently I visited Assam and had to go shopping which included Chicken and Beef. I had to run away from the place when I saw what was written there "SICK KABAB SOLD HERE" and the next shop read something like " HOLE SALE CHICKEN SOLD HERE". Now how funny was that. I am not sure.
Life take us to many places and we many at times end of thinking that somewhere many things are wrong and we cannot fix all those. I felt that I could never succeed at the things I tried, so I tried to fail, figuring that this was certainly something I could succeed at. Then, when I succeeded at failing, I wasn't sure which I had done. If you were the most honest and the most modest man in the world, and someone asked you who the most modest man in the world is, would you have to give up one of your titles in order to answer? I had to write my own self help book, because reading someone else's seemed to defeat the purpose. How can someone write your self help book. If yes, please buy the one I have written. I saw a crematorium the other day that advertised discounts for burn victims ( May be they will end up using less wood and oil). Ha Ha..I hate typing, so I just wrote the book in my head. I'm going to market it to mind readers.
I was thinking that it's time to just deal with reality directly, so I tried to imagine a world with no hypothetical situations. 47% of the ststistics are made on the spot. Sometimes a fact or two can spoil a perfectly good argument. So please do not analyse what you are reading. Does it bother you that every brain surgeon has to have a first operation?
Do you think phonetic should be spelled the way it sounds?Sitting at my computer today, I realized that only drug dealers and software developers call their clients "users."I've been trying to find another word for synonym."Con" is the opposite of "pro," so "congress" must be the opposite of "progress."Are dreams about comedians just funny thoughts? (Had to get that keyword in there one more time).
Cheers and Keep Winning,
Sam
Friday, March 21, 2008
Just Pondering
Let s Go....
My Page is definitely gaining popularity. If not I would not be seeing you reading this wild column on human thoughts and reality. Let me start with a newspaper column where I read about 5 kids being kidnapped by someone called Mugambo. Whenever an adult is kidnapped why isn't it called adultnapped?? Can someone have their head in the clouds and be down-to-earth at the same time? I am not sure. Last week I watched Superman and it was real good. How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
I am really sick of my Dog. Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car, he sticks his head out the window! I have a counselor friend. Could someone ever get addicted to counseling? If so, how could you treat them? I am not sure but Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to? I was overwhelmed by the response to “Just Pondering”. I know you can be overwhelmed, and I know you can be underwhelmed, but can you just be whelmed? Electricity comes from electrons and mortality? Did I say morons?? Again If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
I have a friend name Luke and he likes taking bath. If Luke took a bath, would the water be lukewarm? Can blind people be dyslexic when they read Braille? Why do we say "bye bye" but not "hi hi"? Whose birthday is tomorrow? If you’re born at exactly midnight is your birthday on both those days?
If you died on the International Dateline, and half of you were on 1 side and the other half on the other side, what day would you die? If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? If London Bridge is standing why is there a song about it falling down? In a plane would say loud “Hi” to a friend whose name is Jack? Try that once and tell me. Does it really count in court when an atheist is sworn in under oath using a Bible? Why do people say, "you've been working like a dog" when dogs just sit around all day?
Do you guys love PIZZA? Than tell me why does a round pizza come in a square box? If the day before a holiday is called Christmas Eve, is the day after Christmas Adam? I would definitely confirm and let you know.
O.K Final one [Not sure why they say O.K or the true meaning of it] Why is it that on the back of a medicine bottle it says "adult" is 12 and above, but the adult age in reality is 18?
Keep pondering till we meet the next TIME.
Cheers,
The GEEK .
Now you can send your wild thoughts and we would ensure your thoughts get published and there are chances you end of winning some smart prizes.
My Page is definitely gaining popularity. If not I would not be seeing you reading this wild column on human thoughts and reality. Let me start with a newspaper column where I read about 5 kids being kidnapped by someone called Mugambo. Whenever an adult is kidnapped why isn't it called adultnapped?? Can someone have their head in the clouds and be down-to-earth at the same time? I am not sure. Last week I watched Superman and it was real good. How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
I am really sick of my Dog. Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car, he sticks his head out the window! I have a counselor friend. Could someone ever get addicted to counseling? If so, how could you treat them? I am not sure but Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to? I was overwhelmed by the response to “Just Pondering”. I know you can be overwhelmed, and I know you can be underwhelmed, but can you just be whelmed? Electricity comes from electrons and mortality? Did I say morons?? Again If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
I have a friend name Luke and he likes taking bath. If Luke took a bath, would the water be lukewarm? Can blind people be dyslexic when they read Braille? Why do we say "bye bye" but not "hi hi"? Whose birthday is tomorrow? If you’re born at exactly midnight is your birthday on both those days?
If you died on the International Dateline, and half of you were on 1 side and the other half on the other side, what day would you die? If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? If London Bridge is standing why is there a song about it falling down? In a plane would say loud “Hi” to a friend whose name is Jack? Try that once and tell me. Does it really count in court when an atheist is sworn in under oath using a Bible? Why do people say, "you've been working like a dog" when dogs just sit around all day?
Do you guys love PIZZA? Than tell me why does a round pizza come in a square box? If the day before a holiday is called Christmas Eve, is the day after Christmas Adam? I would definitely confirm and let you know.
O.K Final one [Not sure why they say O.K or the true meaning of it] Why is it that on the back of a medicine bottle it says "adult" is 12 and above, but the adult age in reality is 18?
Keep pondering till we meet the next TIME.
Cheers,
The GEEK .
Now you can send your wild thoughts and we would ensure your thoughts get published and there are chances you end of winning some smart prizes.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
JUST PONDERING
How many times you thought about one of your thought and became so thoughtful that there was no other thought to think?
It happens to many everyday. Life is all about observation. We learn by observing our surroundings and everything we can reach at any given point in time. We reserve those observations as memory and thoughts which can be used later in our life.
I never told you. I am a philosopher [in my own right and unique like any other individual] and a poet and a person who can prove that I am also someone who is illogical all the time and can make anyone go wild. I am still trying to figure out how to do that. I have been thinking for a long time and so are you. This is nothing big and not so important. However I extol the energy of my brain which gets used up thinking about thoughts which really have no relevance in real life. Let me tell you Why?
Did you ever thought about bald people. Can they have Hairline fractures? I am yet to figure out the difference between a novel and a book. How old are you before it can be said you died of old age? Why is it when we laugh in school the teachers say do you find something funny (It happens all the time)? When obviously we do? If nobody buys a ticket to a movie do they still show it? If someone owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way to the center of the earth (and above it too, How much above)?
If humans evolved from monkey's/apes, why are they still here? Why do we say things like “What is your good name”? Do we consider our name bad or individuals have 2 names. I am not sure because I have only one.
Have you ever wondered why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Why the show is called unsolved mysteries? if they were solved they wouldn't be mysteries. Do penguins have knees? Why is it written "May contain traces of peanuts or other kind of nuts" on peanut butter jars. Are people stupid enough not to realize it themselves? May be they are. Again I am not sure...
However for me the biggest question lies in the Great Wall. Why is it called the People's Republic Of China when China's not a republic?
Mystery! Mystery! Mystery! Are you finding this cool or hot? Now tell me Why do "cool" and "hot" mean the same thing? Let’s have few more. Does a baby feel the umbilical cord being cut off? What would have happened if he feels? I want to name my son/daughter “Anonymous”. Is it legal to name your kid "Anonymous"? I want to go to South Pole but I also want to dig a hole there. If you dig a hole in the South Pole are you digging up or down? Many Individuals would agree with me when I say this. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
I have seen a building being built. Why is it called a "building" when it is already built? Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio? I have seen many of you doing that [including me though I have never seen myself doing that ...Hee…hee…hee] Why? Why? Why?
Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was 'shut up.' And then I realize that I should get rid of everyone who shut me up and still feel sorry for them as they never had the answer to all the above questions.
What if one of them died wearing contact lenses? Did they remove the lenses before performing the last rites? How careless induhviduals can be? I might use the word induhviduals [not individuals] in many of the lines because I think induhviduals have evolved from monkeys/apes those were fools and were used to peel off bananas for the smart monkeys/apes like us who later became smart individuals. However, as Dilbert Futures [It is a book and not a name…I know it is also a name as the book would definitely have a name and blah blah blah…..got it] says the world has more fools than individuals we should be careful and silently term them as induhviduals so that they wont’ understand when we refer their name and it would not hurt their sentiments.
I bet we all will do that from now onwards…guys believe me.its fun... Cheers and Keep Pondering,
Smartest Geek.
Warning: There could be an outcrop of symptoms in your brain which might make you feel angry about things which you have no idea of and you might end up beating me to death. I am very sure that you are lazy enough not to walk up to my desk and use millions of unit of heat energy [remember global warming] to beat me up. Also your fear that I might ask you few of my 2 million [little exaggeration. that’s O.K to save my skin] questions which would make you go mad and might turn you to an INDUHVIDUALS. And a individual like you would definitely not do that and use all your energy to make some money and forget this as a bad dream when you were playing football with your friends.I have ensured that the induhvidual T shirt is not visible. Anyone who wishes to purchase the above invisible T shirt can send self stamped cheque through SMS at my e mail ID through Never Reach Courier. What if there is a Never Reach Courier service for induhviduals who do not want to send letters to their friends and relatives and pay to Never Reach Courier for not delivering their letters.
Nothing is down here. Read something else…
Cheers and Keep Winning,
Smartest Geek
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